Today is my nephew, Kai's 1st birthday. It has been a true gift in my life to have the opportunity to participate intimately in his life. In October of 2009 my brother and sister in law told me they were having another baby. I was just coming to a significant turning point in my life...I was searching, yearning for my own personal evolution...to be independent...to feel that I was moving closer to whatever it is that I am supposed to give the world in this lifetime. In November, they asked me to help out with my niece Neena during the month of December while my brother finished his finals. In those 3 weeks, I was so quickly convinced that I needed this family in my life....I truly connected with Neena for this first time since she was born...and she revealed to me that I had way more to offer than I knew. SO, a long story short, I became the nanny and soooon, come February, I would have my first experience taking care of a baby. I was soooo scared! I grew up thinking I wasn't a "kid" person.... also being very nervous about holding babies. This is starting to repeat itself in my life ....I fear something...I avoid....but once I face the fear...I move closer to my true essence. So, Kai was born this day one year ago. Today, I hold him with such ease...I don't freak out about a dirty diaper, I enjoy sharing a meal with him, and simply observing his genius. I am grateful to be so close to my niece and nephew....to love them like they are my own children while also realizing that having a family is the biggest commitment I'll ever make...and I am personally not there yet. For months I had been dreaming about Kai....about babies...kittens....my niece....and they were all manifested in my life. I know that this step on my path was so important to my growth...in getting to know myself more intimately, acquiring the skills I will need in my life's work....and most importantly....establishing a loving, committed and intimate relationship with my family. Thanks to Kai, I have become close to my niece, reconnected with my brother, and bonded deeply with my sister (my teacher, therapist, mother, and best friend too!)
Ever so grateful for my Jersey 5 family....a tribe that has been together for many many lifetimes (for real...yes).....Namaste! Blessings
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