Every morning a nurse wakes me up at around 6 or 6 30 for vital check....that's where they take my blood pressure, temp, and blood oxygen level....and then again around 7 30 to talk to some surgeons or doctors. I'm sort of amazed at how much I chat after being in a deep sleep. I take this time in the morning to connect with the doctors and nurses...I explain as much as I can about the many different sensations I feel throughout the day, exactly where the pain is, and how I have used vibrations to help me monitor or experiment with both. So far, I can feel that I have really turned some heads in this hospital. The comment when they enter my room...."wow this is not like the rest of the hospital".....I have not yet had any kind of negative response...whoo hoo.
What's sort of funny is that before this occurred, I had some trouble advocating for myself, or a topic I felt passionate about, in a way that was rooted in truth and confidence. Now, whenever a nurse or doctor enters the room...I can't shut up about the amazing results I am getting from the various therapies I am receiving....mainly with vibrations and music. My vocabulary, my voice, my tone....everything has changed since I entered the Morristown hospital. I am confident, willing, and excited to learn more about myself, the body, and how to heal on multiple levels. My room surrounds me with beautiful objects...crystals, paintings, sacred geometry designs, star gazer lilies, a live plant, a pineapple, and lots of love from the many visitors and healers that have entered. I'm eating raw, organic and live foods, and spending quality time with my people who I have very deep love for. It really feels just like my own room would. I give so much thanks for the people who have done that for me. I honestly am not sure how high my spirit would be without all of the support. Thank you.
Soooo.....my lower half!! It's still there and I'm connected with it, I just can't get it to move yet. Through this loss....I have gained a new muscle...which is being EXtremely sensitive to energy. I can feel inside my legs and hips....electrical impulses, swirling sensations...hot, cold, numb, sharp...all different reactions to how I am sitting, who is near me, what is happening around me, what crystal is on me, what vibration is occurring, what am I looking at! Like I mentioned, music and vibrations have been detrimental....I cannot go a day without something vibrational. So far, I have felt my legs become lighter, very warm, and sometimes like little fingers are tickling me on the inside. I have a drum from Mexico, a Tibetan singing bowl, my ukulele, and my dear dear friend who plays guitar and mandolin, who visits almost daily...and when my dad brings his guitar, the JAM is ON. I've been blessed to be able to jam on my uke with my friend who plays the bodhran and drums, and to also have an old school keyboard at my feet being played by my first serious boyfriend. It is AMAZING to me to feel music/vibration in this way. A completely different way of perceiving has been given to me as I have temporarily lost the ability to move with the music. The drum warms my whole body, the uke sends signals from my heart down my legs, the mandolin tickles me inside.....and more....wow.
I feel there are so many things I am learning and will take with me when I enter into the Kessler rehabilitation center next Friday. The fact that 2 doctors now come to my room specifically to absorb more info and experience with the singing bowl and crystals is a huge success. The staff here truly is wonderful and open...I am so grateful to be here now. I am stronger every day and have not stopped accepting what is present for me. My yoga practice kicked in immediately when I fell...I lay there in the dirt pretty scared and upset about dancing =)....and yet I was able to work through this swiftly by breathing deeply and saying...OK I accept. Let's do this. My ride in the helicopter was interesting...I lay there breathing, closing my eyes, and without even trying, just watching myself dance....I breathed in and out and repeated to myself, "I will feel, I will feel...I feel I feeel!" Breathing, affirming, and accepting....beautiful lessons and practices to have with you before something like this.....and sometimes you have to fall hard to be put into a place where you will evolve even more. I'm feeling the rise....I am on the rise and I have an amazing team of interconnected loved ones who I feel are on the rise with me now. Soo in love with this feeling....Community can form in one moment through a crisis. This is a world-wide lesson we are receiving right now through these harsh times....but the crisis is what precedes transformation and creates a priority to ACT Now. sighhhh. Big stuff going on within me....but also within the world. For now, I am able to experiment and experience all of the many things I have been studying and practicing in order to really heal myself. I have talked a lot in this blog about my yearning to heal and heal others.....always knowing that in order to reach out, you must first reach inside and become whole and healed yourself.
I am Happy. I am Healed. I am Whole. I am.
Namaste everyone. Keep that love coming. Intention and prayers are what matter the most and what will ultimately create the rise we are all looking for inside ourselves. Riiiiiiise up. Resonate~Blessssings. So many blessings. Love.
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