Create Yourself

Today I began an 8 week course called "Create Yourself" from the lovely Laura Hollick (my new hero)....the intent of the program is to create a union between the inner and outer worlds. First thing was her definition of the soul's purpose: to be the full embodied expression of your spirit on earth. very simple. We then went through some "soul art" exercises to find our inner essence, life's challenge, and our Iconic Trait. This process was so insightful for me and although it may sound simple or woo wooooooo....I'm all over it and very excited to have new clarity in my self from just one class. Laura is a leader in showing others how to live authentic, abundant lives...and is one of many who are advocates for the new paradigm of life on earth. I feel we are moving into a time where we have to express our soul purpose more than ever...rather than attaching to our job label or marital status...we need to show up to what we are really here to do. I loved being able to get to the foundation of my energy today....and to step into a new and powerful piece of my self. Through this course I'll be going deep into my creative expression and connecting that to my outer world...shifting my passion into my life's work and creating abundance from that. whoo hooo ~ excitement~

This is what I learned about myself today....

My inner essence: creative, radiant, joyful, universal love ~ symbolized by a spiral-sun like design
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My life challenge: fear of expressing my truth, feelings, knowledge... ~ symbolized by a jagged zig-zaggy line in a box
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My ability to move through my life's challenge with my inner essence: TRUSTing my self and my truth
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My Iconic Trait: An advocate of creative self-expression

Really, in the last few months I have become much more open in expressing the things I am so passionate about...starting with this blog. THe 21 day challenge of yoga, meditation and blogging brought my inner world to the outer...I had to balance my (inner) search with (outer) sharing. I've also been more confident in myself as I sing my songs, write little poems, or lead music together classes with the little ones. This creative journey is also fulfilling the art therapy I was craving...I'm sure all the boxes of feathers, markers, and paints will be returning to my life soon.

My intention for this course....
I trust in my creative self and I am fully expressing my truth

Namaste and blessings everyone. Love love love love love

2011: Year of Illumination

My brother shared this video with me....and I invite you to please take 14 minutes of your time to watch....

I sat for the first 5 minutes with chills all over my body, mesmerized by the affirming words that spoke directly to my spirit. I've written in previous blogs about the importance of listening to the voice within...and allowing that self to show up and live authentically in purpose. I've received so much information that has often made me feel like an outcast....talking about conscious evolution, co-creation, and the shift we are experiencing energetically as a whole....and yet there are always moments to shine light on my truth. Thank you!

It's time to wake up and I'm open to all of the love and abundance the universe has to offer.

Love, light and blessings to you all. oh shanti shanti shanti <3 Namaste


and PS ~ those three months of big change? March, August, and November(?)....they're all the MERCURY RETROGRADES.....go figure.

mercury finally goes direct....

For the last month, I haven't shut up about the planet Mercury being retrograde......and although many people say it's silly to believe that the planets' placement in the sky could affect life on earth...I'm a believer that they do indeeed. I've heard from various people and places about what Mercury retrograde means energetically...things like traffic jams, car troubles, technical difficulties, never to start anything new or buy anything that has to do with communication....don't travel...blah blah. So....I was kinda skeptical until this last month when Mercury was retrograde from March 30th - Today April 23rd, when so many things that had to do with these very things were happening to my family, friends, and myself. Last night I decided to look it up and found some even more fascinating information about the energies that have been affecting us, specifically in this past month.
Here's some of what I found...

** The purpose of Mercury retrograde is to review and revise our life and our connection with reality.

**The situations of trading places and experiencing major transitions occur and become a major course correction beginning with the Mercury Retrograde on March 30th and continue through April 23, 2011.

**When Mercury retrogrades, we find that many parts of our life are being revised. Often these revisions can be a surprise or throw us back a step. However, these revisions which occur during a Mercury retrograde, are a "course correction" and provide a stop gap measure until we can review situations. We are changing and adjusting our thinking and thought process regarding the activities that we are involved in.

**This Mercury retrograde provides the opportunity to adjust our thoughts, attitudes and communications about our direction. We will move our true self into the directions that are the appropriate reflection of the true self.

What really got me was the fact that during this past month, I completely revised my plan for the coming year...without knowing any of this info. I finally accepted things that I was feeling. I felt a huge sigh of relief as I let go of my ego and saw myself with more clarity of purpose. I love how sometimes I doubt my intuition...my choices...but the universe never fails to either affirm me or put me back on my path. I also love that last line which speaks to the "true self." The last month has thrown some really cool opportunities my way...reconnecting me with a bunch of people I love...and experiencing life with new sense of fullness. I'm done complaining about Mercury Retrograde...instead I am grateful for it...because I feel that the shifts occurring in my life are definitely moving me towards my truth. All I can say is I am open and ready...

Happy Mercury goes Direct day everyone...now that we've gone through this period of reflection, we can move forward with the right actions for our highest self and purpose. Namaste. Love ~

love her

I yearn to see more of the world I live in. I am inspired by the mystery of the earth and her creatures. I am curious of what lies down deeep in the earth's oceans...and what lies beyond the stars in the sky. I love lying face down in the grass...I love hugging trees...I love singing to turtles....I love playing with sand crabs at the beach...I love the multi-sensory experience of flowers...I love feathers...I love kale and kittens, and I looooove honey. Our earth is golden, just like honey. She's sensual, nurturing, and powerful. She knows how to heal herself. She breaths, she cries, she gets angry, she smiles, she laughs, she shivers, she even sneezes. =)

Today when I did a 30 minute hatha yoga class online, I held a visualization of the earth within my heart, with a golden glow around her. I felt that with every breath and every pose I was helping the earth to glow. I visualized myself at the ocean shore...my hands reaching into the water, sending light out to flow and cleanse and purify. And I felt that even with all of the change and shifts going on...I cannot help but feel a strong sense of hope for our planet. Maybe I'm just super optimistic...but I believe in our evolution and it drives me to find more consciousness in myself. I may not be living all of what I preach, but I'm committed to helping our earth find it's balance....baby steps. I agree with conscious evolutionary Barbara Marx Hubbard that we are on the brink of a new birth as a planet...and we are about to open our eyes for the first time, just like a pure and beautiful newborn. The best I can do now is preach and pray....=) and if you read my blog, you know by now that I'm quite the ramblin blabber....but preacher feels better to say!

The songs I write are my drive and my commitment to myself and my earth...

Let's ecolutionize the world with our eco-seeing eyes....cuz we are all a cycle, spinning spinning spinning round... love the earth like she's our mother. you gotta love her love her love her

LOOOOOOOVVVVVEEEEE ya's ~ SAT NAMmmmmmmmmmm

Bridges to Dreams

I'm a full on dreamer...especially as the moon becomes full, my night is also full of dreams. This morning I woke up quite unsure of what was real....and sometimes I'm convinced it's the dream world =) (you know like in the movie, Avatar?...I've totally had those experiences...) ANyways.. last night I dreamt about bridges. In one dream, I was crossing a very long, solid, wooden bridge at night in a city with my girl friends from high school and childhood. In the next dream I was following a friend of mine who was playing guitar...he led me down a cliff and onto a bridge of rocks over water...I was shocked that he didn't fall...and I walked on with steady feet. The scene around me was vibrant...sooo green....you know how right after it rains and it's all misty, and the colors are just popping out? Yea. Then we got to another bridge...it dipped down in the center and a crowd of people were there watching others go out onto it. I walked across and then watched as a guy in a bicycling outfit hopped onto the bridge and proceeded to jump up and down, showing off that he was not going to fall in. Hmmmmmm.....I knew bridges in dreams would represent transitions...and this is what the "dream dictionary" said about some of the details....

Bridge
To dream that you are crossing a bridge, signifies an important decision or a critical junction in your life. This decision will prove to be a positive change filled with prosperity and wealth in the horizon. Bridges represent a transitional period in your life where you will be moving on to a new stage. If the bridge is over water, then it suggests that your transition will be an emotional one. If you fall off the bridge and into the water, then the dream indicates that you are letting your emotions hold you back and prevent you from moving forward. Alternatively, the bridge may indicate that you are trying to "bridge" or connect two things together.
Cliff
To dream that you are standing at the edge of a cliff, indicates that you have reached an increased level of understanding, new awareness, and a fresh point of view. You have reached a critical point in your life and cannot risk losing control. Alternatively, it suggests that you are pondering a life-altering decision.
Rocks
To see a rock in your dream, symbolizes strength, permanence, stability and integrity, as conveyed in the common phrase "as solid as a rock". The dream may also indicate that you are making a commitment to a relationship or that you are contemplating some changes in your life that will lay the groundwork for a more solid foundation. To dream that you are climbing a rock, signifies your determination, ambition and struggle.
Night
To have a dream that takes place at night, represents some major setbacks and obstacles in achieving your goals. You are being faced with an issue that is not so clear cut. Perhaps, you should put the issues aside so you can clear your head and come back to it later. Alternatively, night may be synonymous with death, rebirth, reflection, and new beginnings.
City
To see a city in your dream, signifies your social environment and sense of community. If you dream of a big city, then it suggests that you need to develop closer ties and relationships. You are feeling alienated and alone.
Green
Green signifies a positive change, good health, growth, fertility, healing, hope, vigor, vitality, peace, and serenity. The appearance of the color may also be a way of telling you to "go ahead". Alternatively, green is a metaphor for a lack of experience in some task
Nature
To dream of nature, denotes freedom, tranquility, restoration, and renewal. You are utilizing your instinctual nature.


Ok, so all of these have to do with the fact that my life is going through some crazy transformations right now...I've had to face setbacks in school plans, I've decided to reach out to more of my friends and in fact just had a wonderful and long conversation with one of my best.... and I feel that ultimately- my decisions will lead me to a more peaceful place as long as I continue to follow my heart. Alllright!

Goooood night...blessings ~ Sat Nam!

Subject to Change

I've been feeling this undercurrent of unease for about 2 months in regards to my plans for the upcoming year. I'm in my third and last online psychology pre-req. class for an art therapy program at a grad school across the country of which I'm halfway through the application....and yet I've been unmotivated to complete it. When I found the school last year, I had so many reasons why it was perfect for me. ~I will be with like minded people... the location and program is special and geared towards spirituality and evolving consciousness... I will finally separate myself from everything I knew or was comfortable with...forcing me to be "grow up" and be independent. I yearned for a place where I could find out who I truly am, have access to great healers, amazing nature, and continue to build on top of my sculpture and visual arts bachelors degree....create create create. I thought I had found it...but while I'm still feeling grad school...I'm not feeling the same impulse to be across the country. I'm also not feeling that visual arts therapy is the ONLY program....instead, that I'm too multi-faceted to settle for one modality. WOw, my ego was fighting this for a while... saying things like "this is the school you chose, now you have to go" "you already visited, they love you, you are practically in" ~ blah blah

Here's what I'm feeling now..... I've spent a considerable amount of time getting to know my self, and well, that journey never ever ends! I'm already surrounded by healers, and now most of them are my friends. I've created the boundaries I was trying to create without having to move far away. I am living with like minded people and they happen to be my family and my best friends~While I'm sure they are delighted that I would like to stay with them, they are also the MOST supportive of making sure I am doing whatever is right for me, even if it means moving to another country. As for amazing nature...it's everywhere....and I REAAlllly want to travel, so why not save my money and go on some of the trips I've been dreaming of?

Yes I am an artist, I create with whatever is around me...but when it comes to healing, I'm not sure art is the only way to go. I pull spontaneously from so many...whether its music, tap dance, yoga, hula hoops, or puppets....I feel like having access to all the possibilities is more my style. Yes there is an expressive arts therapy program that I may apply to, but ultimately, I'm not sure a specialized program is the right way to go. ~ I can say that I feel so much better knowing that all things are always subject to change, that options come and go, and everything happens in divine right time. I'm glad to know there was a reason I was feeling unease...and to finally accept it and move forward feels so good. I'm not even concerned with how long it will take to actually get a degree, as long as I'm following my gut instead of my ego.

So the new plan? My new choice? Stick around, and apply for a part time masters program in mental health counseling at some kick ass schools. I've finally moved on from feeling too stupid to get into one of those big time schools like NYU. I know that as I go through the process of therapy myself, I will naturally figure out how I am going to do this work.....THEN I can go get specialized in the areas I want. ~ I'm pretty surprised overall at how I'm taking this...but it feels right and I'm confident that the right place, right people, and the right school will all show up at exactly the right time (as long as I apply myself!)

My dreams have been telling me for a while....I better start trusting myself more =) And as my dance teacher used to say when choreographing a routine....."This is Subject to Change." Yaaa.....everything is....and that's a beautiful thing. ~ Sat Nam

to care or not to care?

In the past 2 days, I've received some stupidly simple insights into my own patterns of behavior and how they are affecting me in relationship with myself and others.

I was laying in bed with my nephew until he fell asleep and I found myself thinking of how I can get super frustrated and angry with him (or my niece)...if you have kids, then you certainly understand! Then I thought about how when they are yelling at me, I get very upset. I think things like, "How dare you be mad at me, or Don't you be mad at me...I didn't do anything......I'm trying to help you....do it this way....blah blah blah...." Upon hearing all of this....I realized 2 things...

1. These are the same things I heard/felt from others as a child...

2. That I feel and think those things because I care so much whenever anyone is angry with me.

Yea, It's natural to be angry with others, and children are good at that ~ but they are also amazing at loving you within minutes. This is because they are natural healers...knowing that the full expression of emotion is the way to deal with them! duh.

Anyway, back to "caring" so much. I realize that because I cared, I made a point to avoid any sort of conflict in relationship...ultimately leading to an unfulfilled expression of my being...always catering to the "other" so that I am not ever in that position. So, what happened once I realized all this...?

Within that same moment when I heard in my mind "I care when others are mad at me," I felt it release and leave. This was so freeing!! I didn't even have to try to switch the belief. I immediately dropped it because it was sooooo simple and "DUH"....not to mention absolutely unnecessary for my growth. Why should I care? Actually...I don't care..."I don't care"....wow that works so much better.

I grew up being told not to say those words..."I don't care".....aren't all girls taught something like this? It's not "ladylike"....say something like "I don't mind" instead.....or don't express it at alll! EEeeek. A goddess does not put up with that....she speaks her mind, and stands strong in her "self"

Allllll in alll....some very liberating moments can come from the simplest of things. Thank you thank you universe for that.

A quote from this awesome book my sister is reading....On Becoming Fearless...in love, work, and life by Arianna Huffington.....enjoy~

"Our most meaningful relationships are based on a longing for expansion rather than a preoccupation with comfort and security. To live exuberantly- to fully know and be fully known by another- we must be prepared to illuminate the dark spots in our most intimate relationships and in our selves." ....."so in the end, it's all about finding your best self, not losing yourself in another."


SAT NAM dear ones! love love love love love love love love rarrrrrrh!