Patience ~ day 12

ok....a Very important baby step on this yoga journey is Patience. wow..how did I miss that one? I guess I have spent so much time and energy trying to appear as a super patient person, when in reality, patience is something that is always tested. Before living with children, maybe I was able to exude an essence of total contentedness in my life. Children are the BEST teachers....they have shown me more of who I really am in all facets of my emotional body....my anger, my anxiety, my fear, my defensiveness, my playfulness, my comical side.....my compassion, and deep love for them....but woah ~ that patience is tested on a daily basis...and if I am closing in on that moon cycle of mine? ....forget about it, just pass the dark chocolate. Sure it's easy to meditate on patience and just sit in it's beautiful essence....but how about accessing that same feeling when both your niece and nephew are banging on the mirror, screaming at the top of their lungs, or whatever else they might do to stir up some crazy reaction. I realize that patience exists best when I can be in a non-reactive state...when I can simply accept and proceed with action instead of reaction. It's one thing to know intellectually how important all of this is...but it is quite another to live it. There are days when I surprise myself in how patient and loving my response is to something "upsetting"...as a Music Together teacher I have learned sooo many techniques to "love" children into a more empowering behavior (or simply distracting them from the freakin mirror)...using focusing songs and rhythm patterns...these all work soooo well too. If Kai is screaming when I am trying to feed him or Neena is squirming in her chair when I am giving her her food, I always sing a song...and 99% of the time it works and we all come out on top. These are my "patient" days...the days when I empower myself and them through acknowledging the situation and redirecting the energy in a fun and playful way. It's hard not to get upset with myself on the other days when I react to strongly that I spend half my time putting someone in time out or just being outright bossy. I hear the beckoning calls of my dear friends "acceptance" and "forgiveness" again....2 very key baby steps that I suppose must be crucial in leading up to this one...Patience....God give me patience...to be fully present with myself, to honor myself and the process of yoga.... Union is not one of those quick fix pills...it requires baby steps. I am patient with my process....(repeat, repeat....=))
Laaaa Deeee Daaaaah

Namaste! Blessings of love.....

Day 11 ~ Kai's Birthday

Today is my nephew, Kai's 1st birthday. It has been a true gift in my life to have the opportunity to participate intimately in his life. In October of 2009 my brother and sister in law told me they were having another baby. I was just coming to a significant turning point in my life...I was searching, yearning for my own personal evolution...to be independent...to feel that I was moving closer to whatever it is that I am supposed to give the world in this lifetime. In November, they asked me to help out with my niece Neena during the month of December while my brother finished his finals. In those 3 weeks, I was so quickly convinced that I needed this family in my life....I truly connected with Neena for this first time since she was born...and she revealed to me that I had way more to offer than I knew. SO, a long story short, I became the nanny and soooon, come February, I would have my first experience taking care of a baby. I was soooo scared! I grew up thinking I wasn't a "kid" person.... also being very nervous about holding babies. This is starting to repeat itself in my life ....I fear something...I avoid....but once I face the fear...I move closer to my true essence. So, Kai was born this day one year ago. Today, I hold him with such ease...I don't freak out about a dirty diaper, I enjoy sharing a meal with him, and simply observing his genius. I am grateful to be so close to my niece and nephew....to love them like they are my own children while also realizing that having a family is the biggest commitment I'll ever make...and I am personally not there yet. For months I had been dreaming about Kai....about babies...kittens....my niece....and they were all manifested in my life. I know that this step on my path was so important to my growth...in getting to know myself more intimately, acquiring the skills I will need in my life's work....and most importantly....establishing a loving, committed and intimate relationship with my family. Thanks to Kai, I have become close to my niece, reconnected with my brother, and bonded deeply with my sister (my teacher, therapist, mother, and best friend too!)

Ever so grateful for my Jersey 5 family....a tribe that has been together for many many lifetimes (for real...yes).....Namaste! Blessings

Day 10 - Sesame Street: Will.i.am's Song "What I Am"

I am so happy! It's all I can say, I can thank the sunshine for bringing some warmth to the winter and allowing my nephew Kai and I to take a beautiful stroll and add some much needed motivation to my day. And now...a video that kind of says it all tonight...."What I am" by Will.I.Am





Every evening, My niece asks for her grampa and lala (grandma), so we skype with them and it means the world to her. Neena is also a Huge fan of music...so we began finding songs on you tube ....and this just one of many favorites among the group...I love to watch my niece and nephew bounce to this =) I wanted to share because it feels so good to sing strong and healthy words about yourself, no matter what age you are! Today, this is my prayer =) Blessings, namaste!

Day 9 ~ It flows...

"Chakra Wheel" ~ Colored Pencil Spring 2005 ~ Laurie Elizabeth

Today I chose to follow the natural flow of my body as I moved through sun salutations and standing poses...allowing my body to take over so that my mind could rest and my spirit could rejuvenate. This is a very fulfilling way to deepen my yoga practice...to trust that I have the knowing within. Ahhhhhh......

There are certainly times in my life when I feel I am moving in an effortless, blissful, flow....everything is lining up in a divine way...synchronicity after sychronicity...and I am in a constant state of Love. Then there are the times when I am fighting the river...swimming upstream because I want something so badly that I refuse to notice that the waves just keep pushing me back to where I started. What is funny to me is that I had an arts therapist recently tell me my animal totems for my "yin" and "yang" energies. My "yin"....(my feminine energy) animal is the otter....then there is my "yang" (masculine energy) animal totem...the salmon! Here are the keywords for both....

Salmon: Creative, Passionate, Loyal, Courageous, Prideful..."Just as the Salmon is driven home to spawn, the individual who has Salmon as his/her Birth Totem, is most fulfilled when exploring the depths of his/her own soul (home) so that a true work of art may be given birth in the form of poetry, paintings, or the less tangible creation of ideas."

Otter: Inventive, Friendly, Curious, Independent, Tactless..."Otter individuals have a deep-seated curiosity that leaves them hungry for all of the "oysters" of information that exist in a Universal Sea of knowledge. Yet the challenge for them is to not become so weighted down by the variety that is available to them that they are constantly picking up, then dropping each idea in favor for a new and more tantalizing one.

These totems are very much aligned with my gifts and challenges...In my active, masculine "salmon" self, I am most fulfilled when I am pursuing my spiritual path through my artwork...and though the journey feels like a struggle at times as I work through and heal my emotional, mental, and physical blocks that keep me from reaching my "destination"...it is an inward journey to the home that dwells deep inside of me. When I am in my feminine "otter" self, I am just following the fun...I'm going where I want to go...I'm exploring and adventuring...I'm giggling and being silly...I'm super social...I'm excited to learn a new skill...and YES..I tend to just nibble until I get it so that I can move on to the next best thing. It's one of my talents..to be able to learn and adapt so quickly..but I have yet to feel that I have mastered one art. I go back and forth as to whether I will ever be great at one thing...I can tap dance, hula hoop, play ukuele, guitar, flute, drum, paint, draw, sculpt....and I could be content in any of these areas....but where will I end up? A psychic told me that my abstract sculpture work would be a big part of my contribution to the world...that a complete and happy me will always do many things...I may be performing, working with children, and sculpting...or maybe something will be put off to the side for a while. This was comforting for me to hear...I had been pulling my self apart...into little pieces...I would ask myself..what do I like the most? dance? art? music?....well look out world...Laurie Elizabeth might end up being one flaired out, colorful, powerful woman....her heart set on bringing love and healing in any way possible.....whether its art therapy, flowers, songs, or hula hoops...I'm a comin!

Namaste ~ SAT NAMMMMMMM........xo

8 - Manifestation

I have discovered some interesting things about the way manifestation works in my life.....through dreams, through affirmations...but most powerfully for me as an artist...through my sculptures.

My sculptures from college have all manifested in my life. I also work with graphic design, and my most recent works are already creating a shift. Here are a few examples

Blue Heron ~ modeled clay cast in plaster ~ Fall 2005
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For my first sculpture class, I chose the blue heron...sculpted in clay then cast in plaster. I was kind of confused myself as to why....but the whole process gave me a great feeling of peace. This was a time in my life when I was just starting to glimpse what I was most passionate about....back in 2004...I didn't add the base decorations until 2010...when I and the sculpture really came alive with more clarity of self expression. I now feel more of a connection with why this was the animal I chose....in looking at what a Blue Heron animal totem symbolizes, "the Ability to Stand Alone" "Uniqueness" "Independence" "Peace" "Call to balance" "Self Esteem" "Boundaries" "Dignity" "Exploration" "Fluidity".....this is what I knew lay ahead of me when I first created this sculpture...but only now am I beginning to live those words.


Kokopelli ~ Copper sculpture 2005/2006

The Kokopelli has always been a symbol I was drawn to....again..without ever really knowing why...As a little girl I visited the Grand Canyon and took home a keychain with the cute flute player I so admired...he had fun hair, he played the flute, he danced...I liked him..so I drew him a lot and collected other items with him on them.....and eventually made this sculpture. Then I began to read about what the Kokopelli really symbolized. I always sort of knew he was the god of mischief...but I came to find out as I was creating this sculpture, that the legend also describes him as a god of fertility...who carried a bag of seeds on his back...and planted them into the ground...his feet then dancing them into the soil...his flute beckoning the spring season to bring warmth. He a healer and storyteller.....Well, go figure that the grad school I have chosen is in the southwest for the healing profession of creative arts therapy...where the Kokopelli is most cherished and found in ancient petroglyphs. I never would have guessed at the time of creating this sculpture that I would have any interest in attending grad school...and def. never thought about New Mexico....Connection and manifestion has been made.

Flower Child ~ woven reed and paper sculpture Spring 2006


I loved my paper making class....at the end we were given the assignment to create a sculpture using any technique...we had learned how to cover wire mesh, create pieces of paper...make molds...and weave reeds to cover....I LOVED weaving...plus I had already made a cast of my face so I created a rubber mold to place paper into...On the day we learned to weave the reeds, I created what I called a "lute"....this is the little 4 stringed instrument at the bottom...then when the assignment came...I drew a picture of what you see above...I was inspired by my orchid plant and I wanted to be at the center of it all...=) This is what was created...and I had no clue what to tell people about it...they would ask me what it meant and all I could say was "Flower Child"....wellll.....that was 2006...in 2009 I received a special birthday present...a ukulele...I am now a ukulele fanatic and have recorded 7 songs...with more to come. I have truly blossomed from this instrument...and I now teach children's music classes...allowing every child to strum the uke and enjoy seeing their little eyes light up every time. Music has helped me realize my gifts...my feminine calling..."me"...and that is how this sculpture has manifested...


Finding Your Center ~ direct plaster, fabric, and wood Spring 2007


Coming up with an idea for my senior year final sculpture was a mess....I had just taken paper making..I wanted to do a figure of myself in clay with hanging paper sculptures....it was very complex...but it began with pictures of Hawaiian women...doing the hula..with their ukuleles....mind you again...at this time I was not a ukulele player. Anyway...my teacher guided me to try a figure in direct plaster...this was intensely hard. Create a metal skeleton, then dip and wrap burlap and plaster to build it up, then apply creamy plaster to the burlap and sculpt for about 10 minutes before the plaster dries...then scrape away and polish up...then fix the cracks...what a test of patience! My teacher then guided me to come up with something simple that would create the idea of movement instead of little hanging sculptures.....I remember saying...."Like hoops?"....Then we came up with the idea of wrapping them in fabric. During this semester I was also signed up for Tai Chi...which is what this pose really came to look like....a girl hangin on the beach in her sarong...doing tai chi...with hula hoops. Pretty ideal life if you ask me....WELL, a year later....I was on the road vending at music festivals when I discovered those awesome oversize hula hoops. I was nervous at first...I had never thought about hooping before...but soon I was not only a hula hooper..but I was making and selling them with my friend. When I was creating the hoops for this sculpture..I wasn't thinking about hula hoops...I was just thinking about the movement around the sculpture...and that it was centering. I really enjoyed the process of wrapping those wooden circles with fabric..and had even envisioned doing more sculptures. Go figure that's what ended up happening...only not as wooden sculptures...as live art out on the road making many people smile. Hula hooping has definitely become a big part of who I am...and has healed me and others in many ways.

Namaste. Sat Nam. Blessings.

Day 7 ~ heARTs

"Soul Love" - Heart Mandala created in Illustrator by Laurie Elizabeth.....February 14, 2011

~ This began as one heart...but real love is infinite....and universal love connects all souls together as one. From my heart to yours....I love you ~

Valentine's Day. A day to dedicate our thoughts to love....


Let's see how I did....I went running in the sunshine with my niece....love....took a drive with my window rolled down, and reggae music pumpin, to a complementary myofascial treatment (bodywork)....more love.....took a quiz for my online class, just passed...whatever...taught a private yoga session with my 13 year old neighbor....love her......ate an amazing meal with my family...love....got reallly giggly as I cut myself a piece of chocolate cake and half a cupcake.....Love....listened in on my computer to the first broadcast on a free "find your soulmate in 2011" teleconference....love....while listening, I created a mandala from a heart I drew in illustrator....Love.

Safe to say that I felt so much love around me today...and I was exceptionally bubbly. To me, Love can be defined in so many ways...and it comes in many forms. I may have fallen in and out of love...but I will never stop loving any of the people who have come in and out of my life. I don't want to ramble on like I usually do....so I will just share a poem I wrote during the holidays that will probably become a song someday....on love. =)

Real Love is undying, unconditional, and pure
Real Love nurtures everything, intending to endure
through obstacles and sickness
through challenges to cure
the things that feel impossible
the times that feel unsure
the people who we turn away
or that we wish we were
so bring Real Love to everything
unite the Him and Her.

-Laurie Elizabeth, November 2010

My blessings to you and yours....MUCH LOVE! <3 namaste - sat nam - peace

Day 6 ~ Baby Steps

Another day of children, homework, and YOGA. I tried yet another new sequence..."peak poses".....should be called "extreme thigh and balance workout" cuz this one had me sweating and constantly reminding myself to breath... don't push too hard! I think I'll do something slow tomorrow, my muscles are awake enough already! Plus....today I'm talking about baby steps. DID you know....that many yoga poses were created from the natural way that babies move? The picture above of a child, barely walking, has put herself into "downward dog" in order to work her way up to standing. "Child's pose' is often a favorite sleeping position...their cute little butts in the air, arms outside their little legs, and head to the side...yup~ yoga poses work well with a child's body because they have yet to create all those nasty blocks due to stress and physical wear and tear that we adults inflict on ourselves.

I currently teach music together classes with babies and toddlers and watch my 12 month old nephew and 5 year old niece. I marvel over their joy of the "moment"....their perseverance with new tasks...their carefree way of living...they don't care if they are dirty, they don't care what is on the agenda for dinner...they only care about what is happening in the moment. They are constantly exposed to new toys, new people, new places... they have no other choice but to accept these new things. My nephew Kai will sit with a toy or a door or whatever it is that happens to be there and move it around until he figures out how it works....and my niece Neena may at first be afraid of that 'talking toy", but give her a month and she is now best friends with the thing.

I think about these gifts that children give in their curiosity as they evolve and adapt to their surroundings and how, at some point in my life, I began avoiding things and people that I thought might be "too hard," "too scary," "not my type," etc. I think about how easy it is to try something for a week and then give up because you haven't mastered it yet...this is how we live...the quick fixes! Well, here I am 6 days in and I'm not looking like those girls in the videos yet, but I am certainly not going to give up. I choose to live my life through the eyes of a determined child, hungry for life.

And so, here are my BABY STEPS so far in this yoga journey!

Baby Step number 1: Make a commitment to yourself - 21 Days of Devotion!

Baby Step number 2: Begin!!!!! "When the time is upon you, start! and the pressure will be
off" - Yogi Bahjan

Baby Step number 3: Acceptance - very important key to allowing yourself to modify poses, "I love myself where I am right now" (repeat, repeat....esp. when you can't do that bridge pose cus your shoulders aren't open and blah blah blah!)

Baby Step number 4: Forgive - the resentment, the self judgment, the pity, the victim consciousness, the past relationships, ETC! and this is as far as I have gotten....

Last night I decided to do my meditation on forgiveness. After talking about my "control issues" yesterday I thought of all the people in my life that I have tried to change....mostly because I felt that they weren't living their highest potential, and how I would hold onto that vision instead of accepting them and forgiving both myself and them for not being who "I wanted them to be." If you know me, I'm sure you have heard me give a lecture about how your behavior or words aren't in alignment with a "positive outcome" or "what you really want to manifest in your life." YEaa....I know, I am one big feather... Well, through acceptance and forgiveness I am beginning to shift into what is actually being given to me...what gift and what lesson I am learning.

I believe that we are all mirrors of each other...and I am ready to take another look at myself...although this time I will pull my head out of the clouds and plant my feet in the ground. I believe that every wound has a lesson, a gift....even if it takes years to realize. Last night's mediation was and IS big for me....I'll be working on this one for the rest of my life because I don't think forgiveness is one of those quick fixes. You may be able to take a pill to hide your emotions so that you can avoid the forgiveness...but why not just begin the process....and free yourself from the resentment over that someone or situation from the past. Living with acceptance in my breath and forgiveness in my steps.....forgiving in every moment...staying open to possibilities...and accepting all of the mirrors that cross my path...

Namaste, Sat Nam ~ Blessings