Saturday, February 19, 2011
Patience ~ day 12
ok....a Very important baby step on this yoga journey is Patience. wow..how did I miss that one? I guess I have spent so much time and energy trying to appear as a super patient person, when in reality, patience is something that is always tested. Before living with children, maybe I was able to exude an essence of total contentedness in my life. Children are the BEST teachers....they have shown me more of who I really am in all facets of my emotional body....my anger, my anxiety, my fear, my defensiveness, my playfulness, my comical side.....my compassion, and deep love for them....but woah ~ that patience is tested on a daily basis...and if I am closing in on that moon cycle of mine? ....forget about it, just pass the dark chocolate. Sure it's easy to meditate on patience and just sit in it's beautiful essence....but how about accessing that same feeling when both your niece and nephew are banging on the mirror, screaming at the top of their lungs, or whatever else they might do to stir up some crazy reaction. I realize that patience exists best when I can be in a non-reactive state...when I can simply accept and proceed with action instead of reaction. It's one thing to know intellectually how important all of this is...but it is quite another to live it. There are days when I surprise myself in how patient and loving my response is to something "upsetting"...as a Music Together teacher I have learned sooo many techniques to "love" children into a more empowering behavior (or simply distracting them from the freakin mirror)...using focusing songs and rhythm patterns...these all work soooo well too. If Kai is screaming when I am trying to feed him or Neena is squirming in her chair when I am giving her her food, I always sing a song...and 99% of the time it works and we all come out on top. These are my "patient" days...the days when I empower myself and them through acknowledging the situation and redirecting the energy in a fun and playful way. It's hard not to get upset with myself on the other days when I react to strongly that I spend half my time putting someone in time out or just being outright bossy. I hear the beckoning calls of my dear friends "acceptance" and "forgiveness" again....2 very key baby steps that I suppose must be crucial in leading up to this one...Patience....God give me patience...to be fully present with myself, to honor myself and the process of yoga.... Union is not one of those quick fix pills...it requires baby steps. I am patient with my process....(repeat, repeat....=))
Laaaa Deeee Daaaaah
Namaste! Blessings of love.....