Day 11 ~ eat more Kale

mmm.... day 11. Today was such a yummy day ~ so I'm writing mostly about food. =) If you know me fairly well, you've probably heard me talk about how I don't each much sugar, avoid dairy, wheat, and red meats...you've probably seen me eating sheets of Nori seaweed...popping spirulina tablets....and chompin down on kale salads with eziekiel bread. So yea...because I am tired and it's been such a yummy day, I dedicate it to the foods I love.

1) I am grateful for Kale. Kale is like the number one super green as far as getting all of your vitamins and minerals covered. If you have tried it and disliked it, try it again! There are sooo many ways to get your "Kale On." We sautee it with garlic...you can steam it and throw some eggs on top for a morning eggs and greens...you can eat it raw mixed with other lettuces and chopped up real small like...or throw it in a fruit smoothie to pack in the greens....oh and of course there are those really tasty Kale chips they sell at Whole Foods or you can make them yourself. People, I'm telling you ~ google it and get your KALE ON! It makes me feel sooooo highhhh viiiibeee.....hahaha

2) I am grateful for sprouted whole grains....like eziekiel bread. Am I spelling that right? hm. ANyways, I have learned over the last few years since really honing in on my food choices, that I have certain sensitivities that have caused inflammation, skin and hormone problems, digestion issues, all that fun stuff...and one of those is to wheat. I've also learned that many people also have this problem but are unaware of it. Actually, most grains are not easily digested because of their skins...this is why soaking brown rice before cooking it, eating sprouted grains, or soaking your almonds is recommended because it creates an enzyme that helps your body fully digest the food. I love sprouted whole grains...they can be used as an alternative to white and wheat bread, pasta, pancakes, pizza, cupcakes....my family is allll about it...and I tell you, to me? They are wayyyy tastier. My body can tell the difference and I've watched myself shift away from some of the crazy carb cravings I used to have. Ok...yea I admit I'm still a good eater. I love food though! Mm Yea...sprouted grains also so good. Here is a pic of my sister's pasta dish which she just made up on the fly....it's 2 different grains for pasta...one is eziekiel and the other is an ancient grain called Farro....both are high in protein. She made an awesome sauce using white beans, broth, basil, mushrooms, garlic, and other spices and yumminess....tellin you..."to cool for the room" as my dad likes to say.



3) I am grateful for ginger tea! Not just because the band I play in is named after this delicious beverage...but because of the incredible health benefits and overall satisfaction of starting my day with a hot, soothing cup o gingah. I love how the body can sometimes tell us exactly what it needs...I began craving this and soon learned about how ginger root is awesome at helping inflammation. That of course works for me as my entire back is still hot with inflammation and scar tissue while I continue to heal and mend from the surgery! Forget about the back break...they had to cut my muscles! eekkk sorry for any heebie jeebies people. Ginger tea starts my day...it's soothing to my soul and always makes me smile when I think of playing music with my girls...check out our last show at kessler this past summer with special guest and stand in ginger, Alexi ~



4) I am grateful for my sisters super creative genius in the kitchen. Every mama probably understands that the real special ingredient in food is love. Cristina not only makes super fun and innovative food creations that taste amazing....they also feel amazing. Like I actually can't control the mmmm's and Oh my god's.....I often take pictures because they also looook so good. I've had my fun in the kitchen...but really...she's a Kitchen Goddess Queen...I'm lucky to be practically married to her lol. Here's my mama sista made breakfast today...eziekiel french toast with almond butter and chopped walnut/pecan/almond mix and fresh organic strawberries and a couple sexy razzzzs. I wish she would just start a freakin cafe with my father....it would be amazing. mmmmmm I'm still having my moments



5) I am grateful for teamwork. Even though this week has been rough with everyone coming down with strep, colds, pink eye even....we manage through because we are a tribe. I have been able to help out soo much more than I thought I would be able to despite being in a wheelchair. Of course I was told over the summer I would be able to play with and feed my niece and nephew...but it was hard to adapt to this new way of being. Having people you love on your side and always there for you is sooo crucial. Creating trust, providing support, listening to one another, taking responsibility for our mistakes.....it's a powerful thing being a part of a team ~ or as I like to say....tribe. I'm learning more and more how true independence doesn't mean going at it alone...it's about finding the people who reflect back to you the virtues and beliefs that you want to live by, it's about connecting with your tribe and walking the path together through commitment. Commitment to being uniquely creative and to co-creating a better together life as a team. Go team =) Here's my little angels....Kai laid his hands on my belly today, and when I bumped up the stairs I was greeted by lots of hugs and kisses from both of them as I sat on the floor. I am blessed to live with these healers.

Day 10 ~ for Feng Shui and Faith

"Fluorite Egg" taken Today March 9, 2012

Wow, I'm noticing throughout the day many things to be grateful for. The practice of writing this blog has definitely helped me bring more awareness to my life.

1) I am grateful for hot showers! This morning I took a shower and the hot water started to run out when I was only about half way through. This immediately made me think about how grateful I am to be able to change the temperature of the water to my comfort level. How much I take that for granted! I know that most people can relate to this experience...when your shower goes cold! eek. Hot showers make me feel abundant....hot water is a luxury and a miracle.

2) I am grateful for Feng Shui. One of my therapists lent me a really great book, "Move your Stuff, Change your Life" by Karen Rauch Carter and it was an easy and fun way to begin changing my space. I am having fun putting intention into my environment...going slow and steady. The old me would have attempted the entire room in one day...and I probably would have done a pretty good job making it look nice...but I am learning now that the process and intention behind the overall goal is so important. And can I just say that decorating a room and moving things around is a much slower process when both hands need to be wheeling. It becomes a practice of lap balancing ~ and a core workout with constantly bending, reaching, etc. Taking it slow and one step at a time is necessary. =) Below is my health and family section where I have my meals...on the wall I have a collage of pictures. Comin along! Feng Shui-ing makes me feel co-creative!




3) I am grateful for my Native American Flute. Today I took a few moments to pull out a couple instruments and play some music. After coming home from the hospital I started listening to flute music and was so taken by the sounds that I purchased a pretty cheap but really well made flute in the key of Am. I used to play flute in elementary and middle school...and had started collecting flutes from around the world...so picking it up was not a huge challenge for me. It's extremely therapeutic and easy to learn even if you've never played an instrument. The sound is enchanting. The flute music and playing the flute myself make me feel peaceful and "in the flow."

4) I am grateful for role models...This month is dedicated to women. I have sooo many women whom I look up to, I could write a whole gratitude blog about them. I have grown and learned so much from people like Laura Hollick, Iyanla Vanzant, Oprah, Gillian Welch, Laurie Berkner, Louise Hay, Doreen Virtue...and many many more famous and local heroes in my eyes. More importantly what all of these women have taught me is that what matters most is the full expression of your authentic self. I have been saying this for over a year now....and I get it... yet- it is still the lesson of my life! To fully express who I am - confidently - fearlessly - to the world. This blog is one way for me to do that...so thank you to those who have listened and learned with me! Role models show me the beauty of authenticity and truth. They make me feel inspired and motivated to allow my true self to really begin blossoming and showing up for those who need to hear, see, and experience "Me."

5) I am grateful for faith. Being faithful, holding faith, trusting faith...I am grateful to have found my own way to this word. I was not raised in one religion and therefore had the belief that "faith" was not really something I could say. I am however, a faithful being. I enjoy learning about the religions and beliefs around the world, and developing a spiritual path of my own based on my life's experience. Without faith, hope, and optimism, this journey would be very different. Even without religion or spiritual connotations..."faith" is universal. I am faithful to myself...my family...my loved ones...my creativity...my books and education...my food choices (well most of the time!). Faith feels like a divine surrender....it's trusting in the unknown that everything is happening and unfolding exactly as it is meant to.

Love to you all and extra extra love to my family tonight...5 out of the 6 of us are on antibiotics...been a rough winter with strep here. Love and gratitude for them in my life and for their vibrant health returning as quickly as possible. Praying I am spared the sickness.

Namaste my loves ~ <3 Sat Nammmmm Shanti Shanti Ohmmm

Day 9 ~ Keep on Keepin On

"Greeeeen lovin....my creation process ~ progressing ~ learning ~ sharing" March 8th, 2012

1) I am grateful for the color green. mmmmm yes I just love the color green. I had my art therapy session today and I painted over my multi-layered piece with just one beautiful grassy green color. It makes me feel renewed, I have a sense of relief, release, healing, calm, it feels like a foundation upon which I can begin to create anything I my heart desires. I'm lovin on this greeeeeen.

2) I am grateful for the ability to progress. Today I had the most intense workout with my personal trainer. A 30 minute push around the neighborhood followed by strength training with resistance bands, free weights, push ups, sit ups.....but what made it different was that I was actually hot ~ I was able to feel how much stronger my core has become...I could feel my hip flexors flexing! Even if they are micro movements....I can see and feel a difference. Now, I've never been a workout girl...and def never ever thought I'd be able to do the kind of weight training I am doing now. He even has me boxing~ left carve, right jab...left right left right. It's amazing. The progress I have made makes me feel like I can do and be anything if I really keep at it....its motivation to keep on keepin on...keep truckin....go go go. I can use this time to really access the energy that has been sitting stagnant since June 9th. The ability to progress is the guarantee that life is always moving forward...so now I am making healthy choices and always striving towards being my best self.

3) I am grateful for water. Water is so incredibly important. It makes up most of our earth and our body. It is the element of emotion. It can cleanse you, hydrate you, cook your food, be mixed with colors to create paint, baptize you....it rains upon your fields and brings us flowers, trees, vegetables, and fruits. It can change from cloud to river to ice to waterfall. Water is our life source. When the sun hits the water just right....it makes a beautiful rainbow of color. Check out some realllly cool sites about how water is affected by intention and can be used for healing....Masaru Emoto's beautiful water crystal photos, and Source Energy Medicine water healing. Water makes me feel alive, cleansed, and as though I am one with the source of creation.

This water crystal was shown the word "GRATITUDE" ~ taken by Masaru Emoto

4) I am grateful for my bed. Tonight I talked with my sister about getting out of my hospital bed. Yes....I would love to. Right now...I still use the railings and the tilt to move myself from one side to the other. Every morning I wake up and have a little moment of "ohh man....now I have to move..." It's such a struggle because my legs are so stiff. But aside from that...my bed right now is supporting my needs and it really is comfortable for me now. I surround myself with pillows and props to protect my skin from pressure sores. When I get all settled in...I really feel so comfy cozy that sometimes I can forget that I have pain and paralysis. Anyway, my bed is serving it's purpose and I'm grateful for it...it makes me feel comforted, warm, and it's like my little sanctuary...surrounded with crystals and all =)

5) I am grateful for my crystals. I am such a geek when it comes to my rocks. I started collecting back in 2nd grade when we went on a field trip to the Peabody Museum. I remember buying hematite, tiger's eye and a peacock ore. Haha I also remember collecting the white quartz rocks from my driveway...saving the pieces of mica and bringing them in for show and tell. I'd put the mica in a jewelery box with wet leaves because I thought it looked prettier when it was wet. Of course...they had dried up by the time I got to school. Now I collect them because not only am I fascinated by Natures beautiful creations...but I believe they are like Earth's angels. They have meaning and healing properties. This is sometimes looked at as "New Age"....but really these ideas go back way way way back to ancient times...to the Bible and before. For example...check out these: Lapis Lazuli and Ruby (my birth stone). My crystals make me feel appreciation for the earth's creations, they are mysterious creatures and I feel there is still much to learn from them as tools and friends. =) told you I was a geek....but hey like the Great Pyramids were made out of 3 types of stone...each served a specific purpose! They made whole structures out of quartz crystal! ok...haha done with that one.

P.S. ~ It's international women's day....here is a great and free teleseminar for Women's Health!

Hope everyone enjoyed the day ~ Blessings ~ Namaste ~ Love

Day 8 ~ Dream Catcher

"Dream Catcher" by Laurie Kammer 2010 ~ made from the tall grasses in my yard

1) I am grateful for diversity. I was thinking about this before going to Kessler this morning. When I was an inpatient there over the summer I was with people from all over the world...I learned about different cultures and beliefs and had awesome conversations. I had EIGHT roommates during that 3 months...one from Italy, one from Columbia, one from Nigeria, one from Spain....it was soo cool! Diversity is what makes us unique, beautiful, exciting, interesting....I guess that's why I'm such a rainbow lover...anyways..I visited a bunch of my favorite people at inpatient today and felt that beautiful connection that rises above where we come from, how we talk, and what we believe. When life brings trauma it can also bring a wave of unity...think about 911, the tsunami, the earthquakes....do we really need to discriminate? I mean in the end..we all want to be loved for who we are...Diversity makes me feel curious, adventurous, unique...I want to explore and learn and teach and share and experience.

2) I am grateful for truth. Today as I walked myself back and forth in the parallel bars I had a very open and truthful conversation with a good friend of mine who is also getting back on their feet. I find that as I allow myself to be more open and truthful, my relationships become more meaningful and nurturing. Of course I feel you have to be able to know when to be open and when to hold back...who to trust with your truths. I have been such an open book and a give give giver in my life (lifetimes) that my lesson is to learn how to listen to that. Truth makes me feel free.

3) I am grateful for boundaries. This injury brought a lot of my "shit" to the surface. I had to basically re-evaluate how I was living my life and begin to shift into a new way of living. Boundaries was one lesson I had to learn....and of course it has now become a life practice. Riffing more on my last paragraph about truth....I had to take a closer look at the people in my life and how I was communicating with them. Like I said...I'm learning. In the depths of my heart I have so much love for this world and I want to give it to everyone...even when they have hurt me or taken advantage of my give give giving. Creating boundaries still stir up a bunch of turmoil for me but they are slowly helping me become the independent and empowered goddess I have always wanted to be.

4) I am grateful for my body. My body has carried many burdens, many experiences, memories, dances, children, relationships....it's carried a lot and it's carried me to many beautiful places...it's walked me out onto long piers off the coast of Cali...it's road tripped me up and down the eastern coast...learned many cool tricks...danced tons of dance recitals, late night concerts, and campfires... My body has endured pain and now my body is working so very hard to recover from the most traumatic break I have ever experienced. I mean, I was a dancer you know? You don't take risks when ya got a recital to perform in...so I've never broken a bone in my life. My body is my temple...it's still beautiful and it's still working, still bringing me to beautiful places, people, and experiences. In my dreams I still fly, dance, walk, wheel, and best of all the pain is gone. I'll keep dreaming....and believing. Dream catchers have become my guide...they surround me in my space and I love to create them. There's something so divine in the weaving and wrapping process...like I'm creating my own existence. My body makes me feel...everything. Every emotion lives in my body...and has its purpose, story, and remedy.

5) I am grateful for the creative process. Today on the way to Kessler we drove by a plot of land where a new complex has been under construction for months now. Before the complex? It was a gnarly bunch of trees and brambles....it took 2 days to tear it all down and backhoe loader the dirt into huge piles in preparation for the building to begin. I thought about how the destruction process takes seconds in comparison to the creation process....My back broke in a second and that was it ~ paralysis. To walk again...to be pain free....to heal and recover takes months to years. It's the re-creation process.....like a gestating baby...layer by layer...phases, stages...whatever you want to call them. It's this process that is showing up in my artwork now. It's new for me. I've always learned things quickly...I can write a song in a night and make a beautiful painting in a day....but I'm trying something new now. To slow down and become the process instead of the creation...because the creation IS the process....and it makes me feel more attentive, conscious, and aligned with how things are really brought into existence.

Love ~ Namaste and Blessings

Day 7 ~ Senses and the harmony of Being

"Fresh Beats" By Laurie Kammer 2009

1) I am grateful for my senses. Part of embracing my sensual self is realizing that I am a sensual being. Our body is blessed with many ways to communicate and receive information aside from our spoken languages. Being able to smell the coffee roasting in the morning reminds me it is a new day, it's time to wake up and start fresh....feeling the hot water in the shower and the way my hair feels after I put my peppermint conditioner...smelling the peppermint, feeling the smoothness....senses are a practice in awareness. Senses help us to perceive our world and can be used as a way to become more present. Even developing our other senses like intuition....reading the "vibes"...trusting our gut. Now that I have lost "normal" sensation in my lower half I am so fully aware that subtle energy surrounds our bodies. I can feeeeel energy in my space...a hand that waves a foot above my leg will create waves INSIDE my leg....exactly reflecting the hands movements. It feels like an energy massage...it's crazy and it feels super weird. Being sensual helps me feel more conscious and connected to my inner and outer worlds

2) I am grateful for my mat table. Today I was able to use my mat table (purchased with the help from the fundraising in my hometown of Ledyard, CT) for my personal training session and my essential oils therapy called Raindrop. This table has become a place where I can escape from the confines of being in my chair all day, I can play with my niece and nephew there, I can lift weights, get a massage, or just chill out. It's been a great gift and I can not imagine life without it. This makes me feel content and free.

3) I am grateful for the self work I am doing right now with a book called "The Artists Way" by Julia Cameron. A dear friend of mine gave me this gift for Christmas and we began the 12 week process together. I have learned so much already and I highly reccommend this work to anyone who is searching for a deeper understanding of their higher creativity. This work makes me feel like I am not alone, I feel divinely guided, I feel wise, I feel more and more clarity in how I have developed, I feel motivated and challenged....I feel curious to learn more about myself.

4) I am grateful for my voice. Today I realized how important it is to be able to speak...and for me...to be able to sing. I love singing for my niece and nephew....and I feel like it is a main way for me to communicate with my niece especially. I am also reading a wonderful book about the music of the 21st century which give scientific research on how sound, especially from voice, can make cancer cells explode and regenerate new cells in our body. I am increasingly interested in the power of the human voice, of sound, and of frequency. My voice makes me feel beautiful, harmonious, and whole.

5) I am grateful for modern medicine. I may be a very "holistic" lady when it comes to my therapy right now...but I want to say that I can recognize the importance of modern medicine. It hasn't been around that long....and we already take it for granted. It wasn't so long ago that people didn't have access to the types of surgeries, antibiotics, etc. We can live longer now...and I just happen to believe if we bring back the more traditional (ancient) medicines like acupuncture and homeopathic remedies...we might be able to balance the two. I feel humbled by my experience because I used to judge hospitals....after spending most of the last year with many doctors, nurses, aids, surgery, therapies....I see how much we benefit from having this miracle. I feel incredibly lucky...and I've seen the other side....I now know that yes there are things that still need to come into balance, but there is indeed a place in the holistic world for modern medicines.

Namasteeeeee ~ love and peace blessings

Day 6 - Back to the parallel bars...

"Soul Bud" By Laurie Kammer July 2010

1) I am grateful for my father who drives me around right now to the places I need to go. It's difficult having to rely on my family for so many things...and it's really crazy when I think about how long it's been since I drove a car. This makes me feel like a child some days....sometimes I feel helpless....but allowing others to help is a gift to give others and I am incredibly grateful to feel supported and loved.

2) I am grateful for my therapist team at Kessler and my old Kessler buddies. Today was my first day back and I got right up to standing in the parallel bars again. I hopped both feet and even isolated each leg to take steps on their own...left right left right....day one back to rehab...I'll probably be there for at least 2 months now. I still feel nervous and scared when I have to learn something new as a paraplegic....but I continue to remind myself of how many challenges I have already overcome since last June when sitting up in bed felt impossible. I am steadfast, strong, and I feel ready to strive for more and more.

3) I am grateful for life's challenges....for testing my strength. Today my nephew and my father became sick...I ended up watching my niece for a good 45 minutes by myself and I managed it fine. I even loaded the dishwasher. Small but significant tasks are feeling less and less like "big deals" now. I feel grateful for these challenges because although I feel afraid, doubtful, or angry about something...I can use those feelings to fuel myself to try again or push harder. I could def write a whole blog about how challenges become our greatest gifts and opportunites...

4) I am grateful for my breath. This one has been hitting me hard lot lately. I find that I hold my breath a lot...and I tense my whole body. Like right now...I just took a huge breath and felt a big sense of relief. I am noticing whenever I am feeling reactive or stressed that I can take a deep breath and begin to feel grounded. Breath is a miracle...it's our own natural medicine...a powerful tool...it's our essence and it's universally shared....we are breathing the same recycled air that our ancestors and dinosaurs and trees and all those yet to come have breathed or will breath....right? yea....so breath and appreciate your breath....some people like those with cervical spinal cord injuries need help to breath on their own...what a miracle we take for granted! Breath makes me feel sacred, grounded, aligned, and ohmmmmed.

5) I am grateful for hugs. Today after I took my first stand in the parallel bars, one of my therapists from in-patient turned around and saw me...she was totally surprised to see me and ecstatic to see me standing. She ducked under the bars and hugged me. Standing up and hugging someone feels so good. For all you people who have the ability to stand and hug...please do so as often as you can. Not only it is healthy for your mind and emotions...it's healthy for your body! Physical touch helps me feel comforted, relaxed, at ease, loved, nurtured, cared for....alll those cuddly lovey feelings.....it releases the hormone oxytocin in your body that do these things...it is healthy! Hugging someone in a wheel chair can feel so awkward and dissatisfying. So hug hug hug people...it's def some serious medicine.....check it out: Amma "The Hugging Saint" here and "The Power of the HUG" here (talking about the physical importance of physical touch and hugging!).

Lots of love, to another day in the life. Blessings and Namaste

Day 5 ~ Music, Movies, and Mocha

"Bongo Beat" by Laurie Kammer November 2011

1) I am grateful for Sunday's spent over in Morristown. Since my injury I have been slowly progressing towards being "back out there." Starting about 2 months ago with short independent rolls around my neighboorhood, I am now pushin around town and enjoying being a part of the community. This makes me feel alive and renewed. My dad and I drop off my niece at her yoga class and head to starbucks...where I treated myself to a cafe mocha with soy milk...its so good. Yea...being out with community makes me feel alive...it's thrilling and exciting and scary too.

2) I am grateful for movie dates. Thanks to having extra help on the weekends, my family is able to take time to chill and do things we want to do. Today my sister and I watched "Crazy, Stupid, Love" and oh man it was hilarious...a really cute movie. Laughter and taking breaks to hang make me feel lighter and less stressed.

3) I am grateful for piggy backs! We've recently figured out that piggy backing me around the house is a pretty convenient mode of transportation...and a work out too! Go figure only my sister does it ~ we're the tough girls here. Anyways, I love riding around and seeing the house from eye level...and feeling that rhythm of stepping...left right left right....it's pretty cool feeling. It's always got a little emotional element...I get misty eyed and sentimental thinking about how I miss moving my legs and feet to rhythms.

4) I am grateful for my ukulele, for music, for my dad playin guitar......this morning we jammed out a little bit. It's always fun to get spontaneous. Music makes me feel complete...helps me match my mood to the moment...and helps me heal. Music IS Feeling to me....and actually the same part of the brain that is activated by music is also where our emotions are. This was our favorite song of the day.... "Inch by Inch"

5) I am AGAIN grateful for our family dinners. Tonight we ate a vegetable bake with 3 types of super heady cheeses (all local farm, artisan cheese)...and a quinoa pasta and cheese bake...totally "High Vibe" as we like to say in this house, LOL. My dad and sister are genius in the kitchen. Just so freaking good....oh yea and add on a lil treat from a local chocolatier who made a chile and pumpkin dark choc bar. I feel so healthy, vibrant....gosh I just keep wanting to say I feel grateful....haha.

I'm off to Kessler tomorrow morning...bright and early...going to be a PACKED week...4 days in a row m-th for the next few weeks of working out..."hopwalking"....wheelies...eekz! Good thing I have chocolate and massages around here. =) Good night everyone, wish me luck! LoVe

Namasteeeeee shanti shanti shanti ohmmmmmm