Wednesday, March 7, 2012
Day 8 ~ Dream Catcher
2) I am grateful for truth. Today as I walked myself back and forth in the parallel bars I had a very open and truthful conversation with a good friend of mine who is also getting back on their feet. I find that as I allow myself to be more open and truthful, my relationships become more meaningful and nurturing. Of course I feel you have to be able to know when to be open and when to hold back...who to trust with your truths. I have been such an open book and a give give giver in my life (lifetimes) that my lesson is to learn how to listen to that. Truth makes me feel free.
3) I am grateful for boundaries. This injury brought a lot of my "shit" to the surface. I had to basically re-evaluate how I was living my life and begin to shift into a new way of living. Boundaries was one lesson I had to learn....and of course it has now become a life practice. Riffing more on my last paragraph about truth....I had to take a closer look at the people in my life and how I was communicating with them. Like I said...I'm learning. In the depths of my heart I have so much love for this world and I want to give it to everyone...even when they have hurt me or taken advantage of my give give giving. Creating boundaries still stir up a bunch of turmoil for me but they are slowly helping me become the independent and empowered goddess I have always wanted to be.
4) I am grateful for my body. My body has carried many burdens, many experiences, memories, dances, children, relationships....it's carried a lot and it's carried me to many beautiful places...it's walked me out onto long piers off the coast of Cali...it's road tripped me up and down the eastern coast...learned many cool tricks...danced tons of dance recitals, late night concerts, and campfires... My body has endured pain and now my body is working so very hard to recover from the most traumatic break I have ever experienced. I mean, I was a dancer you know? You don't take risks when ya got a recital to perform in...so I've never broken a bone in my life. My body is my temple...it's still beautiful and it's still working, still bringing me to beautiful places, people, and experiences. In my dreams I still fly, dance, walk, wheel, and best of all the pain is gone. I'll keep dreaming....and believing. Dream catchers have become my guide...they surround me in my space and I love to create them. There's something so divine in the weaving and wrapping process...like I'm creating my own existence. My body makes me feel...everything. Every emotion lives in my body...and has its purpose, story, and remedy.
5) I am grateful for the creative process. Today on the way to Kessler we drove by a plot of land where a new complex has been under construction for months now. Before the complex? It was a gnarly bunch of trees and brambles....it took 2 days to tear it all down and backhoe loader the dirt into huge piles in preparation for the building to begin. I thought about how the destruction process takes seconds in comparison to the creation process....My back broke in a second and that was it ~ paralysis. To walk again...to be pain free....to heal and recover takes months to years. It's the re-creation process.....like a gestating baby...layer by layer...phases, stages...whatever you want to call them. It's this process that is showing up in my artwork now. It's new for me. I've always learned things quickly...I can write a song in a night and make a beautiful painting in a day....but I'm trying something new now. To slow down and become the process instead of the creation...because the creation IS the process....and it makes me feel more attentive, conscious, and aligned with how things are really brought into existence.
Love ~ Namaste and Blessings